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Salutations

Welcome, to the first Dead Pancreas Anxiety post. How are YOU doing today?I’m okay – not great, not terrible. Just chilling in the grey zone as I typically do. But seriously, how are you?I genuinely want to know. My name is Rebecca, but feel free to call me Reba. Nowadays most people do. So, please, […]

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MY BODY & ME

And another piece ended up on the floor. I was trying on my entire closet worth of clothing and, much to my dismay and embarassment, very little of it fit properly…if it fit at all. I was recently offered an amazing opportunity but that opportunity forced my hand and this impromptu fashion show. Has it […]

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IT'S BROKE AND I DIDN'T BUY IT

This is not a ploy for attention. I repeat. This is not a ploy for attention. So FUCK you for saying it is. Chronic illness is not something anyone wants. If it were available in-store or online it would sit on those dusty shelves receiving discount after discount. But it would never leave, never find […]

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THE RESOLUTION SOLUTION

It’s a new year. We earthbound folk have circled the sun again. Whoo-fucking-hoo. I suspect we humans are creatures of habit regardless of our desire for spontaneity. We want structure though we often shun it. A game of cat and mouse ensues as we build routine and simultaneously evade it. It is thought the practice […]

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HOLIDAYS WITHOUT THE HAPPY

This post is going to come out of nowhere. Think Nowhere Man from The Beatles’ Yellow Submarine movie. Jeremy. There’s quite literally a million and one things traveling at light speed through my brain right now. And that makes organizing thoughts and cohesion nearly impossible. Truth: it’s fucking impossible. I wanted share some of my […]

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JUST ANXIETY & ME

Having been together a while, we have a routine. But it doesn’t mean our relationship lacks surprise. Anxiety has definitely continued to bring the unexpected in to my life. A lot of people do not understand what it means to live with mental illness. Some people view it as a mechanism employed to shirk responsibility. […]

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SLIP(STREAM) AND FALL

Okay. I think I may have finally digested and decompressed from my camp experience. I think. It has taken me a lot longer than I thought it would to process this year’s Slipstream. And I’m not sure I even have a solid reason why. My approach to camp was much different than last year (as […]

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STARVED FOR PERFECTION

We are living in a digital world but I am not a digital girl. And that makes me feel out of place. But, at the same time, I am not entirely sure it is a place I want to be. I’m not sure it is the place for me. Maybe I’m too fucking old. Maybe […]

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NOT QUITE THERE

I wish I had a better beginning for you. I wish there was a cohesiveness to what is to follow, but there likely won’t be. I fear it may be a bit broken. Garbled. And, possibly incoherent. For nearly two weeks I have attempted to compile, to create, to commit to paper/screen, a post about […]

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CAMP MEANS BAGGAGE

Here’s the thing, when something happens once a year, it nonchalantly makes you to look back on the year that was. And all the things that happened during the 365(ish) days between then and now. And that can be tricky business. Especially if you are someone like me. Someone with (A LOT) of anxiety. And […]

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CAMP CONSTERNATION

I wish I could pinpoint the moment I lost my ability to happily be present in public. But I haven’t yet found the one who grants wishes. I have thought long and hard about what happened and when. But I get so wrapped up in all the details that it becomes a muddled mess. I […]

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